Portraits from the Red Diary

पेपर बैग

एक था पेपर बैग
बड़ा, मज़बूत, टिकाऊ

बड़ा, मज़बूत, टिकाऊ
चमकी वाला
मन को रिझाने वाला

मन को रिझाने वाला
तन जाता था
वज़न बढ़ जाने पर

तन जाता था
मगर इंकार नहीं करता था
टूट नहीं जाता था

टूट ता नहीं था
एक गुलाबी फीता था उसमें
और एक हरा

एक गुलाबी, एक हरा, चमकी वाला
दोनों फीते मजबूती से लगे थे
बैग जब बना था
तब से उसमें जुड़े थे

तब से उसमें जुड़े थे दोनों
सिर्फ एक फीता पकड़ने पर बैग नहीं उठ पाता था

वैसे उठ तो जाता था
सामान गिरा देता था

सामन गिरा देता था
इसलिए दोनों फीते साथ में पकड़ने होते थे

दोनों फीते पकड़ने पड़ते थे
साथ मैं पकड़ने पड़ते थे

एक था पेपर बैग
बड़ा, मज़बूत, टिकाऊ
चमकी वाला
गुलाबी-हरा फीतेदार
पेपर बैग

Naya Saal Hoga Kuchh Behtar

Is kavita ka pehla hissa maine March 2008 ki main, Lahore main likha tha. Kavita khatm nahin huyi thi. Mumbai wapas aayi. Saal khatm hote-hote India-Pakistan ke beech kuchh-kuchh behtar ho rahe rishte phir gadbada gaye. 29 December 2008 ko is kavita ka doosra hissa likha gaya.

08.03.08

Naya saal hoga kuchh behtar

Socha tha hum sab ne

Dar, udaasi ko chhod aaye hain

Socha tha hum sab ne

Bin mauke koi shahid na hoga

Maut aam baat na hogi

Socha tha hum sab ne

Ghoomenge befikr Liberty

Tootenge nahin darvaaze, khidkiyan aur dil

hostel nahin banega qaidkhaana

Socha tha hum sab ne

"Dar ki koi baat nahin hai, main theek hoon!"

Aaye din yeh sandesh na denge

Socha tha hum sab ne

Dar lekar na ghar jaayenge

Socha tha hum sab ne

29.12.08

Ghar aa gaye us mulk se hum

Pakistan jise naam mila

Hindustan ki sar-zameen par bhi

Phoonkte -phoonkte paunv rakha

Alag mausam aur naya saal tha

Yahan bhi lekin wahi haal tha

Wahi khwahishein phir se jaagi

Kyunki phir dil darwaaze toote

Dar phailaa hai har hisse main

Naya saal kuchh aisa beeta

29.12.09

Ghar aa gaye us mulk se hum

Pakistan jise naam mila

Ek din use bhi ghar bolenge

Socha tha hum sab ne

Aasaan wahan jaana hoga

Mazzedaar kisi ko wahan se bulana hoga

Hum bhi keh sakenge,

"Hamaare Lahore main aisa hota hai

Hamaare Karachi main waisa hota hai"

Naya saal bhi khatm hua hai

Achhe bure kayi kisse lekar

Takreer karne waalon se aao poochhein

"Mann ka kolahal kya kam tha

yudhhon ki jo shuruat karoge?"

Invitation for my Exhibition

Mama Chimi

Pink Panther
Picked up two synthetic dyed fur balls
Cute
Cage after cage
Bars to a shoe box
Mother to be
Aunties and all
Shower of love
Will barred love help them survive?
Survival tips from baaji
All measures taken
Heaters lit exclusively for them
“I will make them a vegetarian”
Bhutanese exclusion
World of the mother
To hell with the rest of the world

Silent wishes of death
Didn’t hope they will come true
Thanks to shirts, cotton and all
Will it help?
2, 3, 4
3 days of love
One night of death
Sudden
Planned
Smoking before children
What caused the end?
Dye, heat, cold or just too much love

Reason for suffocation
Cover of food
Stiff bodies
Stirred up blood
Heartache
Wet mattress
Unwanted
Non-existent
Get the friend back
Mother engrossed in television
Condolence till its dark
Is it happiness?
Absence of empathy

“What is the one trait you would like to pass on to your son?”
“Empathy” said the graceful mother at the beauty pageant
Beauty
Lies in the eyes of the beholder
Or so they say
What eyes does one need
To realize the beauty of the lot around us
The dark, the ugly, the dull, the unenlightened
The unintelligent, the disproportionate
The missing limb

Beauty beats love
Beauty reigns
Mother of all love
What does one miss?
Void
Space ion the heart
Air bubbles
Too many mamas
Pink and yellow love
Upbringing tips
Warning of death
Beauty conquers all
Safe from the world
Safe in death
Take care

BUZZZ

Please put a full stop
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I have a headache
No wonder people are sleeping
I love her confidence facing shame
Hodgepodge

The BUZZ goes down my spine
It is hurting my spinal cord
Spreads over my shoulders
Like anesthesia before the operation

STOP or I’ll go mad
If I stand I will fall
The BUZZ fills up the room
It has the colour of my national flag
Ayesha sits
and sits

STOP! Else I’ll cry
I wish I was boiling in oil instead
Please stop
Human voice can make you
NUMB
I sense my blood going cold

I’m sure her BLOOD
too matches her dress
Molten iron in my ears
“Mr. Kasimir Malevich,
Why did you exist?”

The Brain Is Jelly

Very good presentation Unum!

Isaac Asimov: Vidha to Haider

Sookha Mazaak
Chamakti aankhein
Na rehne ka dar
Khush karne ki chaah
Pareshan Hindustani
Pakistan main garmahat
Bhaari palkein
Duur bhaagta HAIDER ALI JAN